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Pretty uneventful second visit.  Right ovary is producing (17.5, 14.5, 14 & 12mm follies) and the Left is, well, being that usual cyst-ridden festering nightmare….one big, fat endometrioma which is not getting any bigger thank goodness, but is blocking the follies behind it!  They could only really measure one follie.  One 12mm, sad, little follie.  Ugh.

Lining: 9.6

Estrogen: 452

So, all in all, things are going as planned.  We are going back in tomorrow morning for another scan/draw to see how big these follies are getting and, if all looks good, may trigger on Saturday or Sunday.

Other than that, I am really moody and spoiling for an argument.  Horrible, I know, but there is little I can do but ride it out.

These shots are all so routine I find myself in the morning, half awake, chopping lettuce and ripping open an alcohol prep pad.  Slathering avocado on bread and drawing Lupron into a syringe.  Blending a smoothie with ice on my stomach.  It’s all running together. As long as I don’t inject my turkey I should be right as rain.

At the moment I am doing the “rah! rah! sis-boom-bah!” for more follies to pop up containing big, strong, healthy eggies ready to fertilize and make babies.  Crossing fingers….



I feel like I am always bitching about one thing or another on this blog, but it was started for the purpose of venting…so, there you go.

Having said that…I have to mention that I don’t need to hear another story from people who think they understand this process or about how so and so is just like me and finally got pregnant..after 12 YEARS of trying…or how so and so’s uterus fell out while she was giving birth and SHE did IVF.  I mean, how dense are some people?  I’m all happy that “12 years” finally had their kid or that “sliding uterus” actually gave birth, but really?  Really?  This doesn’t help, people.  It’s just…well…it’s rude.  That’s right, I said it.  Rude.  If you really want to talk to me about it…TALK to me.  Don’t give me ham-handed accounts of these horror stories to try to relate.  It will always fail to do what you want it to do.  You will always be insulting and hurtful however good your intentions are.  Ugh, that sounds harsh…but it’s how I’m feeling right now.

It’s something I never understood from the beginning of this journey.  I would read blogs, message boards and support sites and felt like these women were super sensitive.  I used to think, “ok ladies, get over yourselves.  it’s not ALL about YOU and YOUR drama.”  But a funny thing happened…I started IVF.  I began to realize how it really can break you down.  I started to feel like I was going mad.  I started to understand.

It’s not all about “them” or me, it’s about feeling as if you are redefining yourself as a woman in some ways.  It’s not about “drama”, it’s about struggle, disappointment, longing, confusion, desperation, sadness and hope. I don’t want to imply that nobody can ever understand or relate unless they go through this process.  I am just saying that there are complexities involved that are a suprise when they rise to the surface.   Noboby can prepare you for it, so just please, be gentle.

We have our first frozen embryo transfer this month.  We could very concieveabley be completely and totally unsuccessful after all we have been through.  It’s a bitter thought and one I have to keep preparing myself for.  It’s easy to get good news.  It’s the bad you have to pad the landing for.

Oy, the cramping!  Lower abdomen feels like it was punched a few hundred times.  I am, so far, not a true candidate for any OHSS being as I have pooed and peed, not run any fever, and not had any nausea or vomiting or severe abdominal swelling.  I would be lying, though, if I did not state that I am severely uncomfortable.  The cramping is terrible and I feel a little bit like I did when I got back from my first Laproscopy.  But this retrieval was a crazy procedure, so I should have expected this. ((Crazy procedure also considering the fact that while going under anesthesia I decided to serenade the room with my woozy version of  “Cockles & Mussels”!)) ((Face-plant!)). I’ll keep on taking my Tylenol ES and keep on relaxing today and tomorrow.

Got the call from the clinic today…7 our of our 8 eggies decided to partner up and fertilize!!!!  YAY!  Now we wait until Sunday to see how far they get.  Our transfer time is 8:30am.

Oh, and we need to start those Progesterone in Oil shots tonight.  BOOO PIO shots!  BOO!  Those needles look like spears and they have to be intramuscular injections…BOO!  But, if this means a healthy BFP for us and thusly a healthy pregnancy…than stick that shit in!


Had the last ultrasound today and this one was a bear.  Getting up at 5:30am, getting two shots and leaving for an hour car ride with no breakfast…is no fun…BUT we had an amazing breakfast afterward so all in all I should not be complaining.

Got the call from Nurse today- my E2 has shot up to 2404!!  I’ve been instructed to trigger at 2am which comes with great relief being as we planned our meds down to the last drop of Follistim and used our last dose this morning.  The clinic provided us with a backup Ganirelix and 300IUs of Follistim just in case we needed one more day of stims, but now we can just bring those back on Thursday since I won’t need them tomorrow. (Cue cha-cha dance)

The thought of not having shots tomorrow is just divine.  It was getting a little old these past few days, but onward we go and I hope, I hope, I hope we get some super fantastic high quality eggies that are ready to mambo with hubby’s, um, er… representatives.

**2AM Update: Trigger has been pulled.  Easy in, easy out.  Onto the next lilly pad!


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July 2020


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