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We have a new President.  My shoulders are just a little less heavy this year with that knowledge and the hope that he brings to our country as well as the future support of scientific research.  So, speaking of science…or stem cells…or embryos…we circle back to earth and back to this blog.  Got the first of three shots of Lupron out of the way and husband currently doe-se-does with insurance company to finagle those shots for coverage somehow.

Now it’s two more shots and we don’t know what after that.

"Raising Arizona"

Emotionally:  I am watching my niece and nephews just sprout like weeds and we are home gushing over our dog because she’s all we got.  Your basic pity party.  Chris is much better at dealing sometimes. You find yourself walking the delicate balance tightrope of being so thrilled for your loved ones & family, simply adoring the kids but also feeling completely awful and hopeless for your own chances, it’s awful.  Chris has a way of seeing the good side of this journey while I, on the other hand, cannot deal sometimes.  I bounce from feeling horrible and jealous to admonishing myself for feeling horrible and jealous. I have a warm home, a good partner & friend by my side, a wonderful,  sweet pooch, loving family and friends…what right do I have to feel like this?  Y’know?  Many people have been through far worse. I am my own worst critic usually without fail.  It’s exhausting and ridiculous!


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July 2020


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