You are currently browsing the tag archive for the ‘Transfer’ tag.

I have been on a superstitious bender as of late. Convinced that if I updated, something would go wrong. I have lost the capacity for rational thought when it comes to these treatments.  Please don’t judge me.
Needless to say, here I am…so allow me to catch you up.

Dec. 1st: We finally made it to transfer. Everything went smoothly. Transferred 2 frosties (One 8-cell, one 5-cell).  The worst part was keeping the full bladder. Once the transfer was complete, I had to lay there for 30 minutes before I could get up and relieve myself.  When I say we literally counted the seconds, I am not kidding.   I took the rest of the day on the couch and the following day as well.  Chris was my sweet, doting, fantastic champ the whole time.

Onto 2ww.

Dec 11th: Almost at the end of the 2ww with beta on Monday, Dec 14th.  Does the waiting suck something awful? You bet. Do I feel like the transfer took? Depends on what time of day you ask. I mostly feel nothing.

I feel like this didn’t work at all. There are also times I have had strange pings and pangs, similar to menstrual cramping. Y’know that kind of cramping…where it’s not a literal “cramp”, but an odd centrally located crampish feeling? I dunno, it’s hard to describe. I can only say it’s the same kind of feeling when I have AF.  I have noticed it at night, or when I am sitting or lying down.

I had noticed that on 2dpt & 3dpt I had lots of watery CM.  So much so I had to put on a pantyliner.  At 9dpt I had a bout of CM that looked like my kaslopis had a cold.  Goopy, greenish/yellow CM that looked like…yeah, I’m gonna say it….snot.  Isn’t this process just lovely? I’m dreaming every single night and sleeping very well.

But all these things I have described can be attributed to the 2cc’s of PIO that DH shoots me up with every morning.   See, the of the side effects of Progesterone are identical to pregnancy symptoms.  Couple that with the Estradiol and this is just my body and my mind playing tricks on me.

Dec 14th (Beta Day): Took an HPT this morning…what a BFN joke that was.  Once the beta results came in around 3pm, it solidified it.   Negative, negative, negative.  So there it is.  At least my ass will get a break from those morning PIO shots.  At least I know now that the PIO gives me all the side effect symptoms of a pregnancy.  At least we know what to expect for the next time.  Right?

Honestly, I am sad.  You never want to get your hopes too far up there, but you almost can’t help it at times.  I think to myself: “This is something I am made to do!”.  “Why can’t I just do it already?”.  It took us three years to get to this transfer.  I hung lots of great expectations on it with the full knowledge that it most likely won’t take.  It hurts.  It will pass…but it hurts right now.

Dec 16th: So, here we are.  I have a great big bottle of Prosecco that has my name on it this Friday.  Chris is taking the hopeful road and looking onto our next transfer.  We have stopped the PIO injections as of Dec 15th along with the Estadiol.  I now wait for AF to come to the party so we can start this process again.  We remain humbled with full knowledge that our situation could be so much worse.  Trying to say positive here.

And THAT is December 2009 for us.   TAH-DAHHHHH!

Onward to 2010 and another shot at frozen embryo transfer.

Advertisements

"I'm Confused"

It’s been a confusing few days here.  Regardless of me stopping BCPs on Tuesday and taking my 20 units of Lupron nightly, the bleeding has not eased the way I hoped it would.  I called Dr.’s office on Friday and left message for a nurse to call me back.  I never got a call.  This frustrated me…a lot.

I finally just sat down with Chris and tapped out an email to my Dr. and shot it over as a last resort.  I didn’t want to call his service as I am not in pain, I needed direction.  Just to indicate how much my RE rocks…he wrote me right back.  Eased my mind and basically explained what he thinks the deal is here:

 

         In a nutshell…he thinks my uterus is confused. 

I have been instructed to stop Lupron and begin taking BCPs 2x a day for at least 1-2 weeks.  Apparently, after starting this, my bleeding should stop in a few days.  If it does not, then that might mean the endometrial lining is thicker than it should be and we might have to take further action more quickly.

 

So that’s the deal.  We are frustrated at our circumstances but we are also comfortable with the knowledge that we are in the right hands.  I wish this weren’t happening.  I wish we could move on our transfer date as scheduled, but patience is once again the only thing on the menu…and I’m not really in the mood to eat. 

Oh well, time to work up an appetite.

Looking back on where we have come from, I wish I had been a little pushier in this process from the start.  I am finally starting to do that now, but when you begin- you really put yourselves in the hands of the specialists.  I mean, however much I read on the internet, in books, or on blogs- this does not,  in any way, make me anywhere close to an expert on infertility or the process of Assisted Reproductive Technology (ART).  So, it’s scary and intimidating when you first start  learning about estrogen levels, self injecting, sharps boxes, medication vials, medication pens, medication mixing, ultrasounds and all the other confusing stuff you end up doing and dealing with.

I really like Dr.C.  I am comfortable with him.  I feel he has our best interest at heart.  I feel he knows us and knows where we are mentally in all of this.  I’m a pretty loyal person, so if you do right by me, and I feel in my heart that you are coming from the best place….I’m all yours.  Maybe I need to be more of a squeaky wheel?  Maybe I am becoming less and less patient in a process that demands a level of zen-like patience.  Because I have to be honest, I am feeling like our next FET is going to hit a hiccup.  Don’t ask me why.  I’ll admit it, I can summon “Debbie Downer” and start whipping up the storm clouds from time to time…but I’m starting to get paranoid.

I have a hard time with the fact that our transfer is in late September.  Why 2 months?  To get me “perfectly prepped”?  Really?  That’s the answer I got when I pushed back about the date.  So beyond the 20ccs of Lupron, not much else is different from our last FET protocol.  And what about that delay?  I thought the whole point of all this was to jump on my cycles…so that I could avoid periods thus avoiding the growth of new endo THUS having a perfect landing pad for our frosties????  UGH…bbrreeaaatthhhh. 

BREATH!  Oooohhhhmmmmm.  Ok, ok. 
Have to let go and just go with the flow. 
Literally.

So, on the BCPs daily for now and will start Lupron injections in two weeks.

Cyclesista

Email Me

twelvegrapesblog@gmail.com

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 11 other followers

What/When/Where

October 2017
M T W T F S S
« Jun    
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
3031  

Categories

Previous Entries

Inspire health and wellness support groups