Went in for our third viability ultrasound yesterday. To be completely honest, I felt something was going wrong that morning. My queasiness has all but dissipated, my fatigue was mostly gone and my bbs were not a horribly sore as they had been a few days back. I felt all this but tried to brush it from my mind. When the tech started measuring all the boring stuff around the uterus, I knew then that things weren’t right. I could see the tiny peanut there, not much bigger than last time. I mean, I have seen six and seven week ultrasounds…they don’t look like this.
Basically, our peanut has gone from 3 days behind to one full week behind. There is still a heartbeat flutter, but it’s nothing they can get a lock on to measure. Or if they did, they certainly didn’t share it with us. The doctor who runs the viability ultrasounds is not our regular RE and she has the bedside manner of a cold turd. (This happens to be the same doctor who, when I had my HSG two years ago that revealed my two blocked tubes, actually said out loud “Wow, that’s fascinating to see, bad for you, but fascinating!”. I would like someone to remind her that this isn’t “Grey’s Anatomy”.) Anyhow….she says to us “I’m afraid you may miscarry, so let’s have you come back in a week for another ultrasound.” The words were still hanging in the air while I was getting changed to leave. “Miscarry…miscarry”.
It’s amazing how you can go from hope to despair in the course of fifteen minutes.
What can I say? We knew this could happen. We knew it was so early and that this would mean very little until we could get past the first trimester. I guess I just hoped that since we struggled for so long to get here, fate would smile on us this one time. That maybe the stats would make an acception for us and give us a pass. I don’t think it’s to be.
Chris remains hopeful. That’s just his style. It’s one of the many thousand things I so love about that man. Always looking for the rainbow through the rain. I guess we truly are the yin and yang with this since I have almost given up hope and have started preparing myself for the worst.
Our 3rd ultrasound is next Thursday.
6 comments
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June 25, 2010 at 5:56 am
EncouragedEgg
I am so sorry you are in this situation, I will be praying for you and keeping hope alive. Take care of yourself and your emotions this next week.
June 25, 2010 at 10:56 am
Nissa
Ohhhhh dear…. I’m so sorry this is happening. I don’t really know what to say, other than I’m staying hopeful and praying and praying and praying! Take good care of each other.
June 25, 2010 at 4:11 pm
Pundelina
Oh No TG – that’s not good news 😦 I have heard of babies hanging on through being behind and I will keep you in my thoughts hoping that this embryo succeeds.
love.
June 29, 2010 at 4:07 am
Sarah
I’m so sorry :(. That doctor does sound cold and callous, too, which isn’t helpful in the slightest.
((big hug))
June 29, 2010 at 8:19 am
Kristen
OH my! 1) that doctor sounds awful and you should have back kicked her with your foot. 2) I will hope and pray and fingers crossed that your little baby pulls through.
June 29, 2010 at 8:22 am
Roccie
Oh my dear how are you? Oh I am so very sorry things are causing you worry. You are on our minds.