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Hit the snooze button on my alarm at 7:00am this morning.  Rustled my butt out of bed by 7:15 for my Follistim shot, administered it, then crawled back into bed only to arise an hour later for the Ganirelix.  This shot is one of the two (the other being the Menopur) Chris gives me because I am too chickenshit to do it myself.  For some reason, I really felt the prick of the needles today, both the Follistim and Ganirelix.  Usually, the Follistim goes in with no problems, but this one made it’s presence known.  I flinched from the Ganirelix as well which has consistently left me itchy and irritated around the injection site for 10 minutes afterward.  Maybe my poor tummy is just over these shots.  Hopefully we will be on deck to trigger Monday or Tuesday night.  Fingers crossed!  We currently are in waiting for our final shipment of meds today.

Our Progesterone in oil arrived yesterday.  I was crossing my fingers that it would somehow be in Ethyl Oleate, but it was sesame.  Oh well, my mistake for not requesting it earlier.  I will be more than happy to suffer those thick oil shots from those big needles if we are successful. That is a small price to pay for a healthy pregnancy.

Physically:  Bloat.  I can start to feel the pressure in my lower back now.  Last night I just felt awful for about two hours- constipated, full and gross.  My appetite has felt askew as well.  I have awful cravings for cheesy, salty yum yums.  Just awful.  I force my usual spinach & arugula salad down my throat and it just does not taste good right now.  Ugh…I almost got nauseous yesterday eating the meals I usually salivate for.  Go figure.

Mentally:  Trying to keep grounded and brutally realistic whenever possible.  So much can still go wrong and we can still get cancelled if my estrogen doesn’t rise anymore.  I am crossing fingers that Monday’s ultrasound/lab shows us many mature follies and a doubled E2.

Sitting in the Dr.’s office reading Elle one becomes keenly aware of how life is measured when in the midst of infertility treatments; Silk Oscar De La Renta Pumps $680.00 OR one Follistim pen, Black Leather Dolce & Gabbana Satchel Bag-$1,600.00 OR our third shipment of meds.  The price factor has been just terrible, god awful, horrible, no good, pah-tooie.  Thinking you’re going to be paying a ballpark sum of around $2,500 then realizing it will be double that?  Um, not the most ideal situation…unless your Bill Gates and wipe your ass with hundred dollar bills.

We had our third ultrasound today.  So far so good.  Started naming our Follies just for shits and giggles…Wally, Polly, Molly.  I am glad to see we have a few more than last time but am still waiting to hear back exact details along with my E2 stats hopefully later today.

Physically:  The bloat continues.  I am beginning to feel my left ovary when I sit curled up and my right every now and then depending on my sitting position. Bruising is starting to show on my lower abdomen from the shots, but nothing severe.

Mentally: I go from ecstatic to tears in a New York minute.  I do notice that hormonal shift that has happened and it’s very odd.  Just trying to remain cautiously optimistic about all this.  I just can’t think beyond the next ultrasound.  Lilly pad to Lilly pad, that’s the way for me.


*Update: Heard back from Dr.’s office!  We got follies!

R. Ovary: 14mm, two@11mm & two@10mm.

L. Ovary: 12.5mm, 11.5mm, 10.5mm, 10mm & two@12mm.

E2 : 494

I asked about the estrogen level because it seemed low to me, but nurse said even though they would like to see it a little higher, it has risen considerably from the last lab, so onward we go.

Had our 2nd ultrasound this morning .  So far so good.  Although from what I understand I have one follie on each ovary.

R. Ovary: 14mm

L. Ovary: 10.5mm

E2 level is 194, which is good since it went up.

 Uterine lining : 5mm.

I really wish there were a few more than that.  It just seems like a low follie count for five days of stims.  We have been instructed to up our Menopur from 2 to 3 vials a night, continue with the Follistim and to start the daily Ganirelix injections to tomorrow.  Our 3rd ultrasound is on Friday.  Crossing fingers for many more good lookin’ follies and spectacular labs!

Had a minor freak-out this afternoon when we realized we didn’t have the Ganirelix on hand to start first thing tomorrow morning.  I called Chris screaming like a mental patient and, as always, he took care of it.  Which meant calling Dr.’s answering service to make sure it wasn’t the endof the world if I took the shot afternoon- Doc called Chris personally and said it was totally fine.  He’s cool as a cucumber that husband of mine.  We should be getting the rest of all the medication tomorrow.  Major crises averted.

Physically:  I feel the bloat.  Blotus Operandi.  Bloaty Bloatstein.  The Bloat Master. I can feel my left ovary a lil’ bit when I sit curled up.

Mentally:  Yeah, I am a ditz and I am fully aware of it.  We got groceries delivered yesterday and I put our pup in the office and shut the door so she wouldn’t get out.  Well, we got the groceries and put them away and Chris gave me my shot..and then was like “Where is the dog?” …. “Oh, shit!”.  I went and let her out.  Poor pup never made a peep. I opened the office door and she was just sitting there being so good as if to say “See Mom?  I was waiting here just like this waiting for you and you almost forgot about me!”.  Ugh, the guilt.

Started my second vial of Follistim today.  We are expecting more Menopur to be delivered today as we used up the last two vials last night.  Oh, that burning, awful Menopur.  Blech. We are trying to limit what we spend on meds and order the doses in spurts.  This way, we hope, we won’t be left with six hundred bucks of meds sitting around if something goes wrong or our cycle gets cancelled.

So, my morning routine goes as follows for stims:

Wake up. Make spinach, chicken & red pepper salad for lunch.  Pack salad, eggs, blackberries & apple for lunch. Get out ice pack and slip under waistband to ice injection site.  Wash hands.  Prep Follstim shot.  Remove ice pack.  Swab injection site on tummy with Alcohol.  Allow to dry.  Dial dose on Follistim pen.  Administer shot.  Cap and remove needle & dispose in Sharps box.  Take Doxycycline with water.  Get dressed and off to work.

When I get to work, I eat my egg whites and take the prenatal.  It’s just non stop excitement.

Physically:  I am starting to feel the bloating side effect of these hormones.  Ugh, they just make you feel kind of full.  Like you ate a big dinner and it’s an hour later and you still feel full.

Mentally:  I. am. out. of. it.  There is no other way to put it.  Just in a fog.  Yesterday while driving home from work, I almost rear ended the car in front of me while I was changing lanes.  I can’t hold a decent conversation over 2 minutes because I just zone out.  It has to be the hormones.


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June 2020


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