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"Idealism is what precedes experience, cynicism is what follows.” - David Wolf

Re: Two weeks of bleeding.  Ok…So…Talked to Dr.’s office today.  Went from being totally cancelled to back on the regular schedule.  They originally wanted me to double up my BCPs to hopefully stop bleeding and to totally stop the Lupron.  Then the nurse called me back and told me to hang tight.  So, I waited and finally got the call to just take today’s and tomorrow’s BCPs as usual along with the 20 units of Lupron.  Oook.  So we are back on…for now.  TBD.  Tentative.  Totally have no idea.  Possible cancellation in near future.  Who knows.  Whatever. 

They don’t know if it is a level imbalance, a late menstrual release or something else…but I guess we just continue and will see.  I would have thought they would want me to come in for some blood work or an u/s, but according to the nurse, my chart and timing, of all of this could just be a anomaly that may wind down with the absence of the BCPs. 

I still have a pit in my stomach that this transfer is going to be the longest running joke in our lives.

So the bloodletting continues.  Something is wrong here.  Very wrong.  Two weeks of continual AF bleeding is something that has simply never happened to me before.  I am bracing for the bad news to come after I call Dr. tomorrow. 

I wish I could say I am surprised, but I guess deep down I always knew something might come up.  I hoped for the best, now I am preparing for the worst.

Either way I started Lupron injections on Friday. 20 units.  Supposed to stop BCPs on Tuseday.  I guess this is going to be moot soon.

"Whenever women are together for more than two days they talk about their periods." - Whoopi Goldberg

I’m going to just say this:  I have been bleeding, bright red, all week long.  Consistently, and reliably.  This would be fine if my usual period was consistently, bright red blood.  Its not.  Usually, I spot for a day or two, have two days of heavy menses, then taper off to dark red/brownish bleeding for a few days.  I’m not sure what to make of this. Let me take a step back before I call the Dr. and go over some possible catalysts for my current situation:

Ok, first off….I have been extremely stressed these past few weeks.  Extremely.  Secondly, I recently started taking the Pill (BCP, Reclipsin, whatever) again to prep for FET.  Come to think of it, I was spotting when I started the Pill on 8/6…and didn’t start this full-on bleed until around the 10th.  Maybe the Reclipsin is the reason for this?  Maybe I have fibroids all of the sudden? I just never saw such bright red blood.  I mean, I’m not soaking a pad an hour or anything.  It’s a fairly steady flow, not a torrent.  I do have light cramping, but it’s on and off and usually only mildly uncomfortable.

I Googled this.  Yes, I know…but you would, too.  It was astonishing how many posts came up about bleeding while pregnant!  I found a few people who asked about bright red blood/spotting during menses, but there wasn’t much more than other lost chicks offering their wise, sage assvice like:  “you could  be pregnant!”.  Um, yeah…thanks Dr. Dumbass…ok.

So, that search ended quickly.

I have decided to give it this week.  If I am still consistently bleeding like this by Friday, I am calling the Dr. C.

Looking back on where we have come from, I wish I had been a little pushier in this process from the start.  I am finally starting to do that now, but when you begin- you really put yourselves in the hands of the specialists.  I mean, however much I read on the internet, in books, or on blogs- this does not,  in any way, make me anywhere close to an expert on infertility or the process of Assisted Reproductive Technology (ART).  So, it’s scary and intimidating when you first start  learning about estrogen levels, self injecting, sharps boxes, medication vials, medication pens, medication mixing, ultrasounds and all the other confusing stuff you end up doing and dealing with.

I really like Dr.C.  I am comfortable with him.  I feel he has our best interest at heart.  I feel he knows us and knows where we are mentally in all of this.  I’m a pretty loyal person, so if you do right by me, and I feel in my heart that you are coming from the best place….I’m all yours.  Maybe I need to be more of a squeaky wheel?  Maybe I am becoming less and less patient in a process that demands a level of zen-like patience.  Because I have to be honest, I am feeling like our next FET is going to hit a hiccup.  Don’t ask me why.  I’ll admit it, I can summon “Debbie Downer” and start whipping up the storm clouds from time to time…but I’m starting to get paranoid.

I have a hard time with the fact that our transfer is in late September.  Why 2 months?  To get me “perfectly prepped”?  Really?  That’s the answer I got when I pushed back about the date.  So beyond the 20ccs of Lupron, not much else is different from our last FET protocol.  And what about that delay?  I thought the whole point of all this was to jump on my cycles…so that I could avoid periods thus avoiding the growth of new endo THUS having a perfect landing pad for our frosties????  UGH…bbrreeaaatthhhh. 

BREATH!  Oooohhhhmmmmm.  Ok, ok. 
Have to let go and just go with the flow. 
Literally.

So, on the BCPs daily for now and will start Lupron injections in two weeks.

Cyclesista

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