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I have a date for Laparotomy #3: October 21st.  Got to also discuss with nurse the details of surgery prep and the wonderful elixer called Golytely.  Ahh, I remember it well.  Buh-buh-buh-BLECH!

On a lighter note…our five year anniversary is tomorrow.  Huzzah!  We’ve been married for five whole years and…well…what can I say?  We pushed off the shore of single life five years ago in a rickety boat called marriage, ready to sail through sunny skies toward our own private island of bliss.  We ended up in a perfect storm of obstacles, bound and determined to hold fast to one another.  Lately, I feel like Tom Hanks in “Cast Away”…clinging to bits of board and rope…holding on to whatever we can…with our dog as “Wilson” who silently watches us like we’re nuts.

Through it all, my guy has been right there.  He of bad jokes.  He of puns and metaphor.  He could play you the same song on seven different instruments without batting an eye.  Wise beyond his years and as silly as a child.  He gives and gives without asking for anything in return.  I so deeply wish I could give him a child of his own.  He would be the most amazing dad.  We would be the most amazing parents together.

My sweet husband.  He is my absolute rock.  He has been there at every appointment, every single blood draw, every single moment of this journey.  He has been so understanding and…well…just incredible.  If anything, we see that we CAN take it on together.  Stuff has been thrown at us every turn, knocking us down, yet we still manage to crawl back up to standing position. Hand in hand ready for the next round.  I hope I am giving him back what he gives me.

I hope he knows how much I absolutely, positively love him.

Well, my chickadees…looks like this FET ain’t happenin’ anytime soon.

Went in for a SHG this morning only to find out three things:

1) My left ovarian cyst has grown and the doc is adamant that the ovary, at last, needs to be removed.

2) They also had a hard time getting the catheter into my uterus given all the lovely polyps that came about.  So that will need to be addressed before we do any more transfers…’cause really, what’s the point of transfer with all that crap going on.

3) Our original RE has left and moved on to a new hospital.

Ok, first of all, we always knew that left ovary was a goner at some point.  It just sucks that it has to happen now and like this.  Just when we were getting back on track.  Ugh, anyway, it’s for the best at the end of the day.  These things need to be addressed.  That left ovary has caused me so many problems over the past few years, and was producing so poorly during stims that it makes sense we bid it adieu at last.  According to doc, it would have eventually been the cause of many problems (some of which I had a nasty preview of a couple of years back) and I don’t really need to be waking up with obstructed bowels or ovarian torsion any day soon.  I got enough problems, thank you.

The polyps were an issue before.  Cleaned up at laparotomy #2 but since my last period, they have grown back.

Dr. C. being gone was a surprise.  To be honest, he was all but absent from our last retrieval/transfer and the RE who ended up doing it all is head of the practice anyway.  We like him a lot and feel good staying under his care as we continue.  I told Chris I feel an almost mystical connection to the guy now since he was basically the doc in charge who got us pregnant earlier this year.  He will be doing my lap along with another doc who worked on me at lap #2.  I’m just a regular patron there!  They alllllll know me.

So, it’s onto laparotomy #3 for me…


..I mean, YAYYYY!!!  Right?

Yay, I’ll be positive about this.  Yay, it’s for the best.  Yay, time to buck up and see the good side of more major surgery.



When are we ever gonna catch a break?

I had my first 10 unit dose of Lupron last night in preparation for our upcoming FET.  Problem is, I was supposed to have taken my first dose the night BEFORE.  So, naturally, I panicked.  Then realized it was out of my hands and, after all, I only missed one day so what is the harm?  I mean really now.  Yet, I still feel like a ding-dong for the mistake.

In my aim to shift focusing so hard off these cycles to retain a sense of normalcy, maybe I let the pendulum swing a bit too far?  I mean, I am full steam ahead on work, classes AND the Couch to 5K.  I have to admit it’s been wonderful being so busy.  It has done wonders in helping me focus on the future and not have it always be about babies, babies, babies.  Now it’s shin splints, homework, looking for a better job and naps when I can get ’em.  I love me some naps.

So, anyway…I got the shot done and damn-it if I don’t ALREADY feel a migraine coming on!  Oh Lupron…suck it.  I’m giving this cycle over to the forces of nature.

I feel amazing since we started training.  Four weeks ago Chris and I couldn’t get through 30 second runs without wheezing.  Now we can sail through 5 minutes at a clip!  We are eating AMAZINGLY well (I might give birth to spinach if not a baby soon), and we feel so good.  So much better than before.  So, I know I’m doing what’s right for me and my body.

It’s your ball Mother Nature.


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