We went in this morning for our blood draw/beta. I, being the pessimist, have been working most of the day at visualizing how I will react to the bad news. What can I focus on that will take my mind off of this four year long struggle reduced down to just one more call for the BFN I am so expecting? How can we move forward successfully? How much time will I give myself to be sad? What will we do next?

Well…

We got the call…

Beta: 169

Wait…what???

Beta: 169

WHAT???

Yep.

We go back in on Friday to see if it doubles. I was freaking out asking Nurse what they normally hope to see for a first beta…she said “anything over 25”! Apparently, this is a strong starting number. Oh PLEASE, PLEASE let this continue to rise and continue to stick so we have some healthy babies coming our way!!! I told Chris we need to pick up some pregnancy tests. I need to POAS STAT! I wanna see those lines. I NEED to see those lines.

I have stage IV endometriosis. I have a massive cyst on my left ovary, I have endometriomas up the wazoo. I hope we get rising numbers just to show that you can be riddled with this horrible shit and still be successful. I hope, I hope. Thank you guys so much for your words of encouragement. Thank you for reaching out and just letting me know where you are at and sharing this struggle we all deal with. I honestly am in shock right now.

Crossing fingers for a higher number on Friday.

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