Looking back on where we have come from, I wish I had been a little pushier in this process from the start.  I am finally starting to do that now, but when you begin- you really put yourselves in the hands of the specialists.  I mean, however much I read on the internet, in books, or on blogs- this does not,  in any way, make me anywhere close to an expert on infertility or the process of Assisted Reproductive Technology (ART).  So, it’s scary and intimidating when you first start  learning about estrogen levels, self injecting, sharps boxes, medication vials, medication pens, medication mixing, ultrasounds and all the other confusing stuff you end up doing and dealing with.

I really like Dr.C.  I am comfortable with him.  I feel he has our best interest at heart.  I feel he knows us and knows where we are mentally in all of this.  I’m a pretty loyal person, so if you do right by me, and I feel in my heart that you are coming from the best place….I’m all yours.  Maybe I need to be more of a squeaky wheel?  Maybe I am becoming less and less patient in a process that demands a level of zen-like patience.  Because I have to be honest, I am feeling like our next FET is going to hit a hiccup.  Don’t ask me why.  I’ll admit it, I can summon “Debbie Downer” and start whipping up the storm clouds from time to time…but I’m starting to get paranoid.

I have a hard time with the fact that our transfer is in late September.  Why 2 months?  To get me “perfectly prepped”?  Really?  That’s the answer I got when I pushed back about the date.  So beyond the 20ccs of Lupron, not much else is different from our last FET protocol.  And what about that delay?  I thought the whole point of all this was to jump on my cycles…so that I could avoid periods thus avoiding the growth of new endo THUS having a perfect landing pad for our frosties????  UGH…bbrreeaaatthhhh. 

BREATH!  Oooohhhhmmmmm.  Ok, ok. 
Have to let go and just go with the flow. 
Literally.

So, on the BCPs daily for now and will start Lupron injections in two weeks.

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