“Top 10 Songs That Can Be About Infertility No Matter How Tangential”

Part II

6. So Hard – Dixie Chicks

Okay, this is the song that so many women dealing with infertility hear eventually.  Since two of the three Chicks had IVF, it’s no wonder there would eventually be a song about it.  I wish they would write a whole album of music about their struggles both with IF and the crazy process of IVF.

7. The Heart of Life – John Mayer

“No, it won’t all go the way it should/But I know the heart of life is good.” Its very lovely & personal for me, this song.  It could so easily be Chris’ theme song.  It makes me think of him every time I hear it.  How he has been an absolute prince among men through this entire process.  How he has been able to see the bigger picture for us both when things get the better of me.  How he has worked his ass off so we can at least try to do this.  His patience and understanding should be bottled and sold the world over. Olivejuice, babe.

8. Come Tomorrow – Juliet Lloyd

“You’re well aware of what you’re missing/You count up every sacrifice you’ve made/But don’t you ever stop believing/that it’s worth it all someday”. Another song on heavy ipod rotation.  This song can be about the 2ww or beta results, or just waiting for the next cycle’s window.  I love how she touches on people telling you to be patient and the image of treading water.  She wrote the song about being a struggling musician…but for me, it’s spot on for what we’re going through.

9. Apron Strings – Everything But the Girl

If anything, this song sparks memories of being young, sitting on the floor of our kitchen and watching my mom make dinner.  She has a way of wearing her apron that is beautifully unique only to her and I find myself starting to mimic it as I have grown and begun exploring my own culinary prowess (much to her delight as well as the loving amusement of my brothers).   Maybe it’s also because it’s an 80’s song or something and just brings me back.  Either way, that memory only deepens my own desire to be a mom myself one day.  “He’d look just like me when I was young/And I wonder as the days unwind/Will he have your eyes or mine.”

10. Along the Road – Dan Fogelberg

“Cursing the quest/Courting disaster/Measureless nights forebode/Moments of rest/Glimpses of laughter/Are treasured along the road.” It’s simple and a little bittersweet when you think about losing a little part of yourself in the stumble onward towards what you are fighting for.  It’s about any of us.

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I would be remiss, making any song listing and not mentioning Jamaican reggae singer Lady Saw.  When women around the world open the dialog about our reproductive struggles, it allows those around them to slowly release dogma and antiquated ideas and begin to embrace a supportive, open atmosphere.  She takes on the idea of feeling ashamed about infertility and the wrenching loss of miscarriage:

No Less Than a Woman – Lady Saw

‘This song came to Lady Saw immediately after her second miscarriage. “I wanted to share my pain and allow my fans and all the people to understand a woman’s worth, what we go through, and the pain we endure,” expresses Saw. Saw noticed infertility was a worldwide concern when she revisited her Manhattan doctor every three months for blood work. “I would see a whole new set of women come in with problems more serious than mine. I was like, oh my god…this is a big big universal thing! I thought…let me touch this subject because it is so personal to me and other women.”

‘Infertility is a word that a lot of people are ashamed to mention…Many people are so illiterate when it comes to that word that they act if it is a crime not to have a child, but I don’t think so…” states in her introductory verse. According to Saw, this is the general consensus of many in Jamaica, more specifically the music industry within Jamaica. “People feel if you can’t breed or get pregnant, then you must not be a real woman, but they are not God. If I keep losing these babies and I never have a child of my own, then god knows what is best. It does not change anything. I have three adopted children and still support so many more, so I have a lot of love to give,” she says.’