"He who hears music, feels his solitude peopled at once." — Robert Browning

Regardless of where you are in life and whatever kinds of struggles come your way, it’s usually something that can be temporarily assuaged by a good song.  I have found this to be true in a hundred ways over the years, and this particular situation is no different.  You usually find yourself listening to something and really listening to the lyrics, really trying to see if this fits.  So, in honor of Nick Hornby and his book “High Fidelity”, I am putting together my totally done before, totally unoriginal play list.

I understand that trying to deconstruct or breakdown art is frowned on in some circles.  One is encouraged to immerse oneself in the piece, to understand the subject matter, the style, period or principles.  I’m gonna go ahead and break these songs down a lil’ bit anyway.  Try to explain how I like to embrace them and how they help me cope.  If anyone is out there reading this, please feel free to comment on what songs, music, art or whatever helps you get through the tough times.  We can share the struggle a bit.

So, with out further ado, I present to you (in no particular order) the first five songs of…

“Top 10 Songs That Can Be About Infertility No Matter How Tangential”

1. No One Said it Would Be Easy – Sheryl Crow

In a way, I like to think this song captures the financial & emotional stresses of infertility for couples.   When she sings about getting sympathy money from his father, or feeling like it’s compromising  standards in the lyric  “It’s just a question of eliminating obstacles” you get a clear picture of the intricacies of laying everything on the line to start a family.

2. The Climb – Miley Cyrus

I was driving home from work when I first heard this song on the radio and it hit me like a ton of bricks.  I say this with full control of my faculties as this is, after all, Miley Cyrus and I am apparently a 15 year old deep inside.  It’s pure treacle and strains into sap territory, but essentialy encapsulates what every “guilty pleasure” should be.  With every “ain’t”, “gonna” and “gotta”, you feel a little less crazy and a little more lifted.  Ok Hannah Montana, you got me this time dammit.

3. Deep Freeze – Sandrine

Sandrine’s lyrics are anything but pure sunshine here.  It delves into the darker corners of struggle that make you want to wear lots of black eyeliner and and scowl at pedestrians.  I like that.  She sings about seeing children playing in the street and their “smiling, ugly faces” and eloquently hits a place of bitterness that can only be truly understood by those who have been there.  “They keep on telling me it’s spring time/But I am in deep freeze” goes the lyric.  For someone in the middle of fertility struggles, it sums up that feeling when some Captain Insensitive  says “just relax, it’ll happen” for the 500th time.  It is dark and it’s true and gets heavy rotation on my ipod.

4. Nick of Time – Bonnie Raitt

“When did the choices get so hard?/With so much more at stake/Life gets mighty precious when there’s less of it to waste.

Beautiful song with heartbreaking themes.  Love me some Bonnie Raitt.  ’nuff said.

5. Blessed – Elton John

In an interview with The London Times, Elton John & David Furnish were asked about children: “Do you want kids? Elton: No. I’ll take the perks of being gay where I can get them and that’s one of them for me: gay men are the only group of people who aren’t looked down upon if they don’t have kids”.

But for the David Furnish point of view, (it was) never likely to happen because Elton’s always too busy. He says, “I wanted children. We talked extensively about adopting, but it came down to Elton saying, ‘I’m going to continue to do what I do and it will be very difficult to raise a child with you if I’m not going to be there’.” Furnish, 45, fears he will always be sad about the decision. He adds, “It will be my one regret when I leave this planet; that I never had children of my own, because I really love children.”

It was Bernie Taupin who gave the meaning of the song, with his desire to have children. “Your eyes open up” he declared.  The lyrics gave voice to his desire.

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So there ya go.  Stay tuned for the next five!

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