low dose BCP

Yeah,  so got started on the BCPs and biding time until the Lupron shots begin.

It’s been awhile since I made any entries and, to be honest, there hasn’t been much to report beyond some pain here and there.  I am 90% sure that my left ovarian cyst has reformed fully because I can feel it.  This makes me less than optimistic regarding the completion of our FET cycle come July.  Chris tends to lean more positive on this, thinking that things will go just fine and I shouldn’t worry.  Easier said than done.

I sometimes feel out of control of my emotions.  I really hate feelings right now.  Feeling nothing at all would be just grand by me.  But being out in public and taken over by sadness is something nobody can explain or prepare you for.  I am one fresh cancelled cycle down- who the fuck am I to feel so saddened?  Where do I get off?  Seriously, sometimes I want to step outside of myself when I get down and smack the shit out of me.

So I am depressed and I am eating my feelings.  What else is new.