blocked-tubes

Ok, that HSG I had on Wednesday…well, it sucked.  I have TWO blocked tubes now from the looks of it.  Or as the Doctor on call put it “bad for you, but fascinating to see.”  Well, thanks Doc…normally I can feel that bad all by myself- I don’t need any help.  I completely broke down to Chris after the procedure was over, like some awful Lifetime made for TV movie.  It it amazing how something like that can take it out of you after three years of trying.  So now we wait for our follow up with Dr. C on April 8th.

What is there to say?  My sobfest was just further proof that this has consumed me emotionally and I have to smack myself daily to not sink into a goofy state over it.  And what so many people fail to understand is that  it’s really so much more that just “getting pregnant”.  You get the sense that your very definition of a woman it irrevocably linked to being able to have your own child.  It’s a shitty deal sometimes when that starts to play out backwards.

I have a baby shower to go to tomorrow and I will once again attempt to avoid the mine field of inevitable questions. I honestly just want it to be over with quickly.

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