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We have a new President.  My shoulders are just a little less heavy this year with that knowledge and the hope that he brings to our country as well as the future support of scientific research.  So, speaking of science…or stem cells…or embryos…we circle back to earth and back to this blog.  Got the first of three shots of Lupron out of the way and husband currently doe-se-does with insurance company to finagle those shots for coverage somehow.

Now it’s two more shots and we don’t know what after that.

"Raising Arizona"

Emotionally:  I am watching my niece and nephews just sprout like weeds and we are home gushing over our dog because she’s all we got.  Your basic pity party.  Chris is much better at dealing sometimes. You find yourself walking the delicate balance tightrope of being so thrilled for your loved ones & family, simply adoring the kids but also feeling completely awful and hopeless for your own chances, it’s awful.  Chris has a way of seeing the good side of this journey while I, on the other hand, cannot deal sometimes.  I bounce from feeling horrible and jealous to admonishing myself for feeling horrible and jealous. I have a warm home, a good partner & friend by my side, a wonderful,  sweet pooch, loving family and friends…what right do I have to feel like this?  Y’know?  Many people have been through far worse. I am my own worst critic usually without fail.  It’s exhausting and ridiculous!

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Please forgive me as I verbally vomit…

{BEGIN VENT:}  So that Lupron shot…yeah… this past week has been nothing but drama surrounding that Lupron shot.  First it was calling in to pick up the shot at Walgreen’s with no insurance coverage for this type of medication. $600.  Sorry, but that’s just too much per shot.  Called back and played ring around the rosie with health insurance dittoheads (I call them/they tell me to call my Dr.’s office to have them call them/my Dr.’s office has me call them BACK just so they can call me and so on and so on as I start losing my marbles) until I finally got a number to a specialty pharmacy we could try.  Whew.  Thank goodness.

I order the shot, they tell me there may be a co-pay. I say- no prob.  Anything to not have to pay $600!!  Go in on Friday for the shot…it never arrived.  Nobody told me my Dr.’s office does not accept deliveries!!!??  In all those phone calls nobody apparently talked about this small fact?  I know I cleared it up with the pharmacy…I know THEY spoke with my Dr.’s office…so WTF??

injection

So now do I not only lose a few hours of work, but I come to find that later on we have to pay $50 MORE for the shot from this waste of a time pharmacy!  So husband gets on the phone to raise hell with the specialty pharmacy and I get on the phone with Walgreen’s to make sure they still have our $600 shot as a backup.{ END OF VENT.}

All in all, the shot arrived on Saturday and I go in at 7AM on Monday for the injection and a blood draw.

Tah-dahhh.

Tomorrow morning is the first of three Lupron Depot shots. These are to ensure a proper healing phase after my Laparotomy in December 2008. Since I have been on Lupron before, this is nothing new, but I do have to say I am torn.  See? Not getting your period is super fantastic. You go to the gym with ease, you rarely get awful cravings around flo-time and there is no pain every month!! It is lovely.  The pain was truly unbearable and getting it to a manageable place is, and will be, an ongoing process.

It’s just this whole “trying-to-get-pregnant-and have-a-baby” thing that consumes us right now. I know, I know…”boo-hoo”. There are people that have been trying for kids for YEARS. This is a fact that I am slowly starting to snuggle into.  We are becoming those people.  Going on three years of treatments and surgeries for me, yeah…I’m one of those gals now.

Me: 33  – Stage IV Endometriosis/Fibroids/Cysts/Blocked Tubes

-2006 Laparoscopy for removal of adhesions, endometrioma/cyst issue on left ovary

-Had follow up Hysterosalpingogram to check healing progress revealing blocked left tube and open right tube-

-2007 Laparotomy for removal of more adhesions & endometrioma/cyst on left ovary-

-Went on 6 months of Lupron injections-

-2008 Began looking to fertility treatments after 6 months of TTC with no positive results.  Had a Sonohysterogram to practice IVF transfer and found that uterine walls had adhesions-

-Laparotomy in 2008 for for removal of more adhesions & endometrioma, clearance of left tube along with removal   of uterine adhesions (D&C)-

-Jan-Mar/2009  three months of Lupron-

-2009 Had another Hysterosalpingogram to check progress of healing only to find that now both tubes are blocked-


Onward to IVF and beyond…we turn the page, again and again and again.

Cyclesista

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